Darwin theory.

I ride the train a lot (oh, by the way, hi there! How ya been?).

Anyway, where was I?

Oh, so I have to ride the train every day because I commute (and the second my winning lottery ticket comes in, you can kiss that sh!t goodbye). Each day I spend a good portion of my morning and my evening in a rocking tin can on my way to and from the city.

If I'm really lucky I snail a privacy seat.

A privacy seat for the uninitiated is a seat placed opposite the conducter's booth at either end of a pair of cars. I love the privacy seat because it puts some distance between me and what I can't stand.

What can't I stand?

People.

It's the misanthrope in me but save me from some cow's mewling bored brats or a moron who believes they're talking into a tin can with a string instead of a cell phone.

Some peace and quiet you f&$@s. I sit on an office where there is a constant barrage of noise. Open offices! Collaboration!? Look at us!! Save me please!

Let me go in and put me time in with some relative peace and quiet so I can think if you will. The grandest time in my entire professional life was when for a brief period I had an office of my own. Oh for that nirvana once again...

So I relish that ride where the privacy seat is mine.

Yet the interesting thing is that I am close to the door, hence the title of my post. A door is a relatively simple mechanism to operate - it's not as if you have to take a class to master the thing. You approach it, you turn the knob and you've made it!

Sounds pretty easy?

But you would be amazed at the trouble it presents to a vast majorityvof people. Granted the door between the cars on the commuter train has four handles - three are for locking the door completely so you can't pass through but only one actually unlatches the thing and sitting there watching this, this comedy where some schmuck tries to go to the next car and starts thinking it's a Houdini trick of some kind makes you realize Survival of the Fittest is a straightforward concept and the herd is on trouble because we're not letting it truly operate.

Tonight I watched four Bims fresh from the Yankee game try to achieve the higher brain function of using a door and going to another car - f$&@ing amazing and the scary thing is, they're going to breed!?!?

Lord, save us all!